New Year, Better Me

Like most years, I am wrapping up 2019 having learned some important lessons, and having gained a new perspective on different aspects of my life. But this NYE also marks the beginning of my first full decade as an adult. The 2020's will surely bring with it some of the biggest changes, decisions and, undoubtedly, challenges of my entire life. With this in mind, there is one overriding thought that I plan to carry with me through it all.

And that, is to be outrageously honest.

Life, ladies and gents, is short and shouldn't be lived quietly. It is also unique to each of us- a product of our responses and experiences and just as valid as everybody else's. So the only way to get the best out of ourselves, if you ask me, is to live as authentically and be as true as possible.

I have accumulated my fair share of regrets and mistakes at this point. But I have also done my fair share of growing. I am slowly but surely learning how to navigate my way through the muddle of this competitive, and oftentimes grim, society with a big heart and open mind. And now, I also hope that I’m finally ready to bring a daring candidness to the adult world.

Whether it’s being disrespected at work or overruled in a discussion, I want to stop second guessing myself and speak my truth. Spending time living in Australia was my chance to ‘live dangerously’- doing and saying things I wouldn’t normally be brave enough to do at home. And in some ways, I did; I made good friends in unexpected places, I briefly travelled across the country alone. But since coming home I realised this wasn’t entirely ‘mission: accomplished’. I still spent a lot of time not being honest about my feelings or in my opinions of myself. And if you ask me, there is no room for doubt in a fully contented life.

Happy Place Festival 2019: Life motto

I suppose at its heart, this is a fear of judgement, of rejection. But it’s one I hope to squash pronto. The world won’t cave in if you tell the person you fancy you have feelings for them (politicians are doing a good enough job of that on their own), and nobody will die if you admit you need a little bit of help. Honesty, as we’ve grown up being told, is absolutely the best policy.

As well as being honest with others, I also hope more than anything to make sure that I am honest with myself. Am I proud of the way I am? Could I be working harder? Stuff people, basically, and check in with myself more. I’m sure we could all do well to focus more on yours truly, and less on the progress of others.

Most people I know have (rightly) rejected the ‘new year, new me’ mantra. Because really, it’s not about reinventing ourselves- it’s about bettering who we already are.

In 2020 then, I pray that my voice will be heard and the seeds of confidence I have been planting will come to fruition. Because in a lot of ways, for a lot of people, I think this is going to be both a big year and a big decade. It will be a decade of careers and marriage, of fighting for the planet and for our rights- and I hope that it will all be kick-started by a louder, more honest me.

Vicky x