Don't Look Back in Bra-nger

Going to get bras fitted is just a regular part of female life (or if it isn't, I recommend that it should be!) It's so important that your boobs are not only comfortable, but look their absolute best no matter what you're wearing- and it's surprising how regularly they change. So nipping into M&S or Boux Avenue to get measured shouldn't be a biggie... unless you're me.

It's been a couple of years now since my fateful trip, and as my annual(ish) measurement rolls round again, I begin to prepare myself for the worst- because things have changed again.

But let’s rewind to 2017 first.

I already knew that there is only one style of bra that fit my chest properly. I had come to terms with that. But I also knew that by then I was probably wearing the wrong bra size, and it was time to bin my old sports bra in place of something more sturdy that didn’t make my chest spill out the top like a fizzed up can of coke. But what I thought was going to be a routine trip actually ended up sparking a personal crisis.

On top of only really fitting into one particular style, I had gone up 3 cup sizes. This, to me, was kind of hilarious, as it meant I had officially entered the realm of ‘big old lady boobs’. What I hadn’t factored in was the fact that I’d be stuck with big old lady bras to match.

My heart sank as the woman came back numerous times with the least attractive undies for me to try, and I realised that this was my lot. The best I could do was a bright lacy purple number, in amongst the array of nudes and blacks. And from there, I realised I was condemned to this selection for the rest of my days.

£62.50 and an internal tantrum later I made my way home. It sounds ridiculous now, but I cried the whole way down Princes Street- I went out for a new sports bra and I came home without my self esteem.

Eventually, I came to terms with this experience (now affectionately referred to as 'the big boob disaster' ) and managed to accept my body for what it was. But I'm struggling to have the same feelings this time round.

I'm sick of having an awkward body shape and the lack of variety that comes with it. At 5'2" I'm already vertically challenged, so I don't need extra depth to make clothes shopping even harder. What's more, it's the quickest confidence killer I know.

I can't panic shop and expect to pick something up that fits. If I can get a dress to fit my waist it almost definitely will suffocate my chest- leaving me looking like a budget Betty Boop. If a blouse  buttons up over my boobs, it'll sit weirdly around my belly. And if I find a strapless bra that fits, my boobs end up heading further south than the UK's current political situation.

And I just keep making my way down the alphabet.

The boob issue has resurfaced with a vengeance following my most recent body confidence wobble, and as I wandered into the undies section of Primark in Inverness recently I was faced with a similarly bleak, but depressingly common sight. 

Just some of the A-C Cup range

The D-F Cup range... 

Why can't us big breasted gals not have the same array of choice? Bralets are pretty much off limits and so is anything with straps as slim as the chances of Oasis getting back together, so what's left for us on the High Street? Shopping on sites like Bravissimo at 21 feels a bit like being a child at a menopause counselling session, and paying sweetly for it too.

So when is this going to change? My body is constantly changing and so too should retailers. It's time us boobier specimens had easier, more affordable access to pretty bras, because I don't know about you, but I am tired of being given reasons to hate the body I ought to be grateful for.

Big or small, us girls should be celebrating our assets. I just don't quite feel like I can.

So although I may be well on the way to competing with Edna Turnblad’s triple E Cup  (cos if you don't laugh you'll cry, right?), I'm on a mission to find a way to feel good about myself while it happens. Whether the high street will help me or not.

Vicky x



Big up Kat for being my model and creative aid xxx