A Year to be Grateful For
Although I don’t think it’s healthy to dwell on the past, I do like to take a minute at New Year to look back at the last 365 days and appreciate everything that’s happened. As one of my favourite quotes from this year goes, “only ever look back to see how far you’ve come”. This year in particular finds me in an incredibly different place to where I was twelve months ago and I could not be happier with the way in which I have grown as a person. In many ways, this period of my life has been kind of like sitting in a restaurant (okay, bear with me on this one):
I placed my order and my starter arrived. It looked promising, however not entirely what I had anticipated from the description on the menu. Despite persevering and initially being pleasantly surprised, a disconcerting aftertaste follows. I feel increasingly nauseous until eventually, unable to move from my seat, I throw up. Everywhere. Right in front of the entire restaurant.
The starter then got cleared away along with my violent mess. I am embarrassed and incredibly anxious but determined not to let it ruin my main course, so instead of leaving, I decide after some encouragement from my companions to stay. I will try again. While I am desperate for it to be tastier than the first course, I am also aware not to push my luck and so try to take it easy. It arrives and smells incredible. At first, I struggle to manage more than a nibble, but slowly I appreciate it is too delicious not to devour and before I know it the plate is clear, and I can’t help but smile at the contrasting end to this part of the meal.
I then see the waiter approach with my dessert. While I can barely wait to tuck in, I am also very aware of how I felt not all that long ago following the dodgy starter. The bowl is overflowing and looks delicious, but there is the looming possibility of it not being quite what I have in mind.
If you’ve made it this far, thank you. You have my gratitude and the actual point of this post as a reward. But really, this is my roundabout way of saying- expect nothing. And this is the main mantra that I will be taking into 2019.
I am ending this year loving people I once couldn’t stand, and realising that others aren’t who I thought they were, but I’ve come to realise that that is life. An awful lot of my downfalls and misgivings have stemmed from expecting things to be a certain way and for them to then turn out entirely differently, so this is something I want to dispel as much as possible. By not anticipating anything, I surely won’t be disappointed.
In 2019 I’m hoping to take things as they come. It’s okay if I don’t blossom into the most independent, wise and cultural person I could be- it’s going to happen gradually and I will get there eventually. As I’ve come to realise, there’s no time limit on self development, only the parameters which you set yourself.
So goodbye benchmarks and anticipation, and hello easy going lifestyle. I have a feeling that this is going to be one hell of a ride... (but also, no pressure. A relatively mediocre journey will do just fine too, lol).
See you in 2019 for the next chapter my lovelies, and thank you for sticking with my Sunday notes.
Vicky x
Comments
Post a Comment